19 weeks and counting … And we’re having a …

These last few days have been very busy and with ups and downs !!!

UC BABY_20My mom has finally arrived. So far, we are getting along fine.

Then, Dan’s grandpa got really sick and, unfortunately, he might pass at any time now. It is always hard dealing with a loss, but we want to focus on the long and prosperous life that he has lived. He would be turning 95 next week!!

Another sad thing that happened, that hit really close to home, was the fact that dan’s brother and his girlfriend, sadly, lost their baby, who was due to be born the same day as ours. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard the whole experience must have been, and I truly hope they can recover from it soon enough !

I got a little paranoid about losing our kid too. I don’t know. I guess just being due on the same day made me fear too. But, I have moved on from that feeling.

I just couldn’t wait any longer to find out if we are having a little boy or a little girl. So, I booked a gender determination 3D ultrasound appointment. Dan had to come back to town a bit earlier to see his grandpa, possibly, for the last time, so he was able to join us at the appointment.

So, there were me, Dan, Helena and my mom. We got there a bit early, and I started to ingest as much sugar as possible to make sure the baby would be moving during the session. Helena started crying when the lady started to scan my belly, I think she thought there was something wrong with me. But it wasn’t long until she could tell us that we are having a baby GIRL !! UC BABY_1

I wish I had recorded Dan’s reaction. Dan, my mom, my dad and my aunt were extremely confident it was a boy. I thought it was another girl all along, but their conviction made me doubt my senses at times. Dan just threw himself back on the chair, looking up at the ceiling and going like “ohhhh”. He was in shock haha

I was so glad that I had kept every little thing we ever bought Helena. We will certainly be saving some money.

My mom said to Dan that maybe next time it will be a boy and we were both like NOOOO!!  We love our babies, we love being parents, but 2 is all we can handle. We are glad our family will be complete soon.

One thing I find super interesting is that when we bought our house 3 years and a half ago, the family who owned this house had two girls. So, there was a girly yellow room and pink room. We never altered the rooms just in case we had a girl, or two,  for that matter. And, in case, we had a boy, we would change the room as needed. So, we are saving money on room decor, too, as we already have a girly room for our second baby girl.

I know I am talking a lot about savings, but I can’t help it. This pregnancy, compared to the last one, has been so  much cheaper haha  Dan said he is probably having 2 girls because he is cheap haha

Regardless, we have always known that the gender doesn’t matter. What truly matters is that the baby is healthy!

I just can’t believe that in a week time I’ll be halfway this pregnancy. It is going by crazy fast.

And now, to the hardest part: picking a freaking name!! I hate this part, honestly. Dan and I always disagree, and I always wonder if our kid  will hate the name we pick.

I have 5 names in mind. But there is one that really stands out. Dan is, currently, reflecting on it.  I hope he agrees because I just can’t wait to call her by her name !!!

12 weeks AND counting

Ah!! I can finally post again !!!

I did not mean to be gone for so long, but my computer broke down and it had to be shipped out to be repaired.

It was gone for nearly 4 weeks!!

During this time, I got to see my baby yay!! I actually saw baby 3 times.

The first time was a routine dating ultrasound which confirmed I was 7 weeks at the time.1507900_10203013148109925_2029658766427588307_n-1

I got to see and hear the heartbeat which is always so moving and exciting. Baby looked like a peanut still, which was expected. Everything seemed ok, but the doctor did tell me later at my appointment that there were signs of some bleeding. It must have been internal because at the time I had not had any bleeding.

A few days later, I started having some heavy bleeding. It was a period-like flow. I freaked out because I had never experienced that much bleeding in my previous pregnancy. I ended up going to the emergency. They couldn’t find out what was causing the bleeding and told me to get a lot of rest. That day at the emerg I got to see the baby for the second time, but, obviously, they did not give me any pics.

So, I came home and tried to rest as much as it is possible to rest when you have to care for a 18-month-old baby girl. The bleeding decreased throughout time, but I kept spotting for a few days.

Now it is totally gone, thank God. I was so stressed!!!

Then, last week I got to see baby one more time. It was the Nuchal Translucency ultrasound, the one that tries to detect issues like drown syndrome. This time Dan got to join me and, finally, saw our baby for the first time. I think baby knew daddy was there because he/she was so hyper. The baby would not stop moving, spinning, jumping. It was so funny. This time baby looked less like a peanut and more like a human. 10606264_10203155546269790_5278820385723258768_n

I can’t believe how fast this pregnancy is going by. Being busy with Helena, the house, hubby and everything else makes me forget about counting time, which is good.

If it wasn’t for the constant nausea, the  lack of appetite, and the endless exhaustion, I would probably forget I am pregnant.

In about 7 weeks we will be able to find out the gender. In the beginning, I was really looking forward to it, but now I am not so sure. This will be the last baby, so, maybe having that big a surprise at the delivery room would be a nice way to wrap it up. But I do not know how long I can wait without knowing.

I find that knowing the gender of the baby helped me bond with baby when I was pregnant with Helena. Being able to decor the room, and buy things with the baby in mind was really nice. Be able to call it by its name rather than “baby”, it”, or “he/she”.

So, let’s see how that will turn out.

I feel like we are having another girl. Most of my relatives think it is a boy. We have already pretty much picked out a name for a boy. No clue what we will name the baby if it is another girl.

Anyways, this it for now.

Fifth Week

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This week has been busy, busy,busy … But I love it ! I still kind of remember what life was like before Helena came along…Gosh, was it ever meaningless?
There are always a thousand things I could do with her and for her everyday. No kidding 5 weeks felt like 5 hours.
We had two “events” at home this weekend and hubby was off both days. Amen to that!
I am part of an online group for moms to April babies in Canada and we held our first Edmonton playdate at my home last Saturday. Three mothers and their precious little angels came over. Being able to spend time with other people who are in the very same stage in life as we are is so priceless. I hope we can be friends and I hope our children can grow up together.
Then on Sunday, we held a baby shower for our friends and family to meet Helena.
The big highlight of the day was me meeting with Dan’s brother and his family for the first time in over a year and a half. It was awkward, but overall it went well. I guess we could say the cake was another highlight too.

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During the time we were taking prenatal classes, the nurse who ministered our classes mentioned that the movie theatre chain called Cineplex had something called Stars and Strollers which were movie sessions for moms with young children. At the theatre close to my house, it is held every Wednesday at 1pm. You have two choices of movies which is great so you are not stuck with one boring movie, you can bring the stroller in and no worries if baby cries plus the volume is lower! Helena and I checked it out with a friend and her baby that we met Saturday. We watched The Hangover part III. I love going to the movies and I am so happy I can keep on going even after having a baby. My only concern is that it could be discontinued as the attendance seemed low to me. From now on I will promote it as much as I can to keep it alive!

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Saying buy to my Honda

I used to have a Honda Civic Ex Coupe which I loved, but unfortunately I had to give that up as it had only two doors and was extremely tight. It was really hard to have a carseat in there let alone actually putting it in there. We had begun car shopping last Friday and this past Wednesday we acquired a white four door Toyota Corolla. I miss my Honda  but I guess this is only one of the many sacrifices to make along this parenthood journey. On the bright side, my insurance is so much cheaper now.
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I have also started trying to get Helena’s travel documents ready so we can go to Brazil soon.
I already have her birth certificate so I can go ahead and get her Canadian passport. I went to Service Canada yesterday and got the forms. I tried to get the pics too, but it was not possible as she can’t hold her head yet and our hand can not be on the picture.
She will also need a Brazilian passport and, in order to get it, I need to apply for her Brazilian birth certificate to which she is entitled to. Long story short, it will be a time consuming process.
I am going to check this place I was told about which supposedly take passport pics of newborns.

Helena

We paid a visit to the nurses at Healthy Beginnings, the program that sent a nurse to visit both Helena and I at home the day following are hospital discharge (which I think I forgot to mention), just to check how Helena is doing. Her birth weight was 6lbs9oz and now she is 8lbs10oz and from 19 inches to 21, I believe … (I suck at understanding these measurements ).

So, in kilos, from 2900 kg to 3880kg and from 48cm to 53cm. She is a petite kind of baby, but she is certainly developing well which brings me relief as she is spitting up a lot and some of it due to the effort she puts into trying to poop. She suffers from constipation and goes many days without a bowel movement.
We switched her formula to a low in iron one and hopefully it will make a difference. The nurse gave me some tips on how to reduce spit-up, but I think I just suck at burping her 😦
She told me to feed her in a sitting up position and keep her in a sitting up position for half an hour after each feeding which sounds unrealistic as Helena is always falling asleep while nursing and gets really cranky if she can’t lie down, but I am trying.

It is amazing to witness her growth and development. The changes happen daily! Every day she looks somewhat different and acts somewhat more mature. She has been interacting with me and responding to my approaches, like peek-a-boo, with giggles. It is also amazing to see how she has a personality of her own already and she has preferences of her own too.

And last, but not least, I got Helena’s ears pierced. It was an impulsive decision, but I liked the outcome. I saw this baby whose ears were pierced at Walmart while trying to get those passport pics and her mom told me where she got it done, so we drove there right away. She cried a lot, but I gave her a bottle right away and it was enough to soothe her. I don’t think it hurt that much, I think it was mostly distress from the sound the gun made. The whole thing did bring me to tears, but not because I felt sorry for piercing her ears, but because it made me realize how helpless babies are. We can pretty much do whatever we want with them and they have no way to fight back. All they can do is cry and it broke my heart. I hope and pray to God I can always be around to protect her for as long as she can’t do it herself !

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Lorena

How are you doing, Lorena?
Oh, thanks for asking ! I am exhausted…not complaining, just saying.
I am tired and overwhelmed. I keep on demanding more support from Dan, and trust me I feel bad about it, but I have noone else. I wish I could just do 100% on my own, but I am only human.
Either way, motherhood is really weird. I try so hard to get her to sleep in her bassinet,and when she does, I miss her in my bed. I keep on looking forward to little breaks away from her and when I get them, I miss her to death. Go figure!
Haven’t been able to clean after the baby shower yet, but oh well.
But I have never been any happier or any more fulfilled.
I love my Helena and my Daniel. I don’t know how it happened, but I have a family (my head is still processing things. In there I am still at the age of 15) and I love it !

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Letter to my baby

Hello, my darling.

I can’t believe we are going to meet soon. I am so happy and I still can’t believe you are finally coming into our lives. You will never know just how much we have wanted you to come!

Everybody we know is so anxious to see your little face and ask about you every day. I hope you can feel all of this love from within my womb. By the way, I hope you had a good time in there. I tried to make it as cozy as possible for you and, although you are in a tight spot right now, you have been to so many places already, even overseas!! One day I want to show you photos of the things we did together while you were in there.

I am really scared of giving birth; I am not going to lie. I imagine it will not be an easy task for me, neither for you. But don’t be scared! Everything is going to work just fine and when you come out there will be a lot of people waiting for you. Your Brazilian grandparents are coming all the way from Brazil just to be here for your arrival.

Basically, here is what I really want to tell you. I have a lot to learn and I will make mistakes along the way while trying to get this whole parenting thing right, and for that I apologize in advance.  Just keep in mind I love you a lot and everything I do will always be to the best of my abilities.

I also hope we can be great friends and, when you are a teenager, you will listen to me and let me guide you. It is not that I know everything, but I am 25 years older than you are and that gives me a head start. And it is not that I want to control your life, but I just want to keep you safe and prepared because, unfortunately, I can’t bring you into a better world. This is the only one we have. I am not trying to make you scared or anything, I am just being honest. It is a beautiful world and there are many wonderful things about it, but unfortunately that is not all. And I wish I had been able to change it somehow and made it better before you came, but it is just not the case. So, I can’t change the world, but we can make our own little world a great place, the three of us, you, me and daddy.

I don’t want this letter to sound sad or anything. These are just things I wanted to tell you now in 2013 so you know I truly meant them when I tell you all of this again in 15 years or so. It is also to let you know how much you are loved by all of us. You can’t imagine how anxious I am!!  Your dad, as you will learn in time, is not a very emotional person. He is very reserved and quiet, but I can see his anxiety and excitement too. While I demonstrate my feelings with words, he is the type that does so with actions. He is working really hard to get things for you. He bought everything for your nursery with a lot of love; he is also already saving money for your college fund which, by the way, he said he will use to buy a truck if you decide not to go to school haha, so I hope you go to college because I don’t want another truck!!!

Anyways, I just hope we have a great time together. I am really looking forward to meeting the unique person you are. I hope I do a good job teaching you about love, respect, tolerance and that you can use these to make a difference in this world. No pressure hehe.

Love you. See you soon.

3D Scan

Yesterday was a great day not only because it was the day we were going to have our 3D scan, but also because my cousin’s baby was born !

My cousin’s wife got pregnant a couple of months before I did and we developed this really strong bond throughout our pregnancies. Even though we live in different countries we managed to stay in touch and speak almost everyday. She is a wonderful person and I am so glad my cousin found a wonderful person to build a beautiful family with.

He was born during the time we were having our 3D scan at around 5 p.m. Welcome Miguel ! May you be showered with blessings !

Now, let’s talk about the scan. It was a wonderful experience. Amber, the lady who performed the scan, was a very sweet and patient person. Even though I had eaten chocolate on my way over there ( as I had been told to in order to get the baby active), it was really hard to get a nice view of her face at first as she was covering it with her arms all the time.

So, Amber and I started poking my belly to get the baby moving and it actually worked. We were finally able to get a nice view of her face and I think it gave us a pretty good idea of what she is going to look like when she is born.

 

 

Honestly, I think she looks 80% like daddy and only 20% like mommy. It is his forehead, his nose, his lips, his fingers and toes. The only features that look like mine are her chin and cheeks!

 

What do you think ?